From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca
NORTH BAY — As municipal elections draw near, the mayoral candidates are now diving into the things that matter least: their platforms.
While the city knows that Al McDonald wants to build up the waterfront, Gary Gardiner wants transparency and Will Boissoin wants create a Medieval Super Arena to protect North Bay from wolves, there is one candidate that has been quiet: Sheldon Forgette.
“Running for mayor is no small feat,” announced Forgette Thursday morning outside City Hall. “It takes time, it takes money, and most of all, it takes research,”
“While Al and the rest were out putting up signs and kissing babies, I was scanning through North Bay social media to see what people were talking about. What I found was that the recurring theme is that I, Sheldon Forgette, will be building nothing but skyscrapers in North Bay.”
“Well, you asked for it, so I will deliver!” howled Forgette. “If elected, I, Sheldon Frogette, will turn every building downtown into a SKYSCRAPER!”
Many close by agreed that this announcement would come as no shock to the public. For while Sheldon himself has never explicitly mentioned skyscrapers, online comment sections have been adamant that Forgette would be building them.
“I think it started when I said that I supported the construction of condos” breathed a calmer Forgette. “Then as comments went on and on and on, it evolved into me building the Empire State Building. It’s like a horrible game of telephone. But why fight public expectations? They won’t shut the hell up about me building skyscrapers, so I say give the public what they want!”
Forgette threw his arms into the air one final time and bellowed.