Government to Burn All Ontario Forests

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff and Mark Rose, helpful news hound OTTAWA — Citing the high costs of trying to douse, control, or extinguish forest fires like the one currently burning in Temagami, the new Progressive Conservative government announced Monday morning that it would no longer be combating major forest fires. Rod Phillips, the Conservative Minister […]

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City commits $1.1 million to paint rainbows everywhere

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Following the success of a completely volunteer funded effort to paint two Main St. crosswalks, an impressed City Council announced Monday evening that they would be funding the further “rainbowfication” of North Bay to the tune of $1.2 million dollars. “I see these crosswalks downtown and I […]

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Pita Pit to be replaced with an actual pit

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — The downtown core just got a little deeper. Pita Pit, the Canadian chain restaurant, is set to be demolished early next week as the City makes room for a gigantic, nearly bottomless pit. “It’s a shame to see it go,” says City Planner Gord Curwen about Pita Pit. […]

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Video of Man Eaten Alive By Shadflies [WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT]

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff —————————————– WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT —————————————–           Footage from three waterfront security cameras have captured an unidentified man being devoured by shadflies. The film was supplied by an anonymous source late Thursday evening. The date of the film is unknown. There have been no Missing Persons reports for the […]

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City Council announces wrestling show

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Seeing Sheldon Forgette step into the ring has inspired Mayor Al McDonald. “I’ve thought about wrestling for years,” says McDonald. “Every time someone has challenged our parking bylaws, I’ve been thinking ‘I wish I could drop an elbow on this guy.’ But I never thought I’d […]

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Local rapper fighting Illuminati with children’s book

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — International rap sensation Ahawtboi, best known for his hit song “where da beauties at?” is penning a new children’s book. Ahawtboi, who declined give his real name, has spent the last 14 months writing a 7 page picture book. The work, tentatively entitled “THEY’RE STEALING MY BLOOD!” […]

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