Pita Pit to be replaced with an actual pit

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — The downtown core just got a little deeper. Pita Pit, the Canadian chain restaurant, is set to be demolished early next week as the City makes room for a gigantic, nearly bottomless pit. “It’s a shame to see it go,” says City Planner Gord Curwen about Pita Pit. […]

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Video of Man Eaten Alive By Shadflies [WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT]

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff —————————————– WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT —————————————–           Footage from three waterfront security cameras have captured an unidentified man being devoured by shadflies. The film was supplied by an anonymous source late Thursday evening. The date of the film is unknown. There have been no Missing Persons reports for the […]

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City Council announces wrestling show

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Seeing Sheldon Forgette step into the ring has inspired Mayor Al McDonald. “I’ve thought about wrestling for years,” says McDonald. “Every time someone has challenged our parking bylaws, I’ve been thinking ‘I wish I could drop an elbow on this guy.’ But I never thought I’d […]

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Local rapper fighting Illuminati with children’s book

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — International rap sensation Ahawtboi, best known for his hit song “where da beauties at?” is penning a new children’s book. Ahawtboi, real name Manchew Fronter, has spent the last 14 months writing a 7 page picture book. The work, tentatively entitled “THEY’RE STEALING MY BLOOD!” is the […]

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Tourism building replaced with giant “Piss Off” sign

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Formerly located at the corner of Seymour and the bypass, the Chamber of Commerce Tourist Information Office has been demolished, and in its place is a gigantic sign that says “Piss Off.” The 1.65 acre site, which was sold last year for almost $1.7 million dollars, was […]

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Shadflies cause lock down

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Long-time North Bayites know what’s coming. As June enters its final two weeks, many locals look to the lake with growing unease. There, they know, wait hundreds of thousands of shadlies. “They get everywhere,” says City Councillor Vic Tikus. “They stick to things. They stick to […]

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