Cassells’ Tim Hortons secretly the lair of Dr. Doom, police report

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff After a national search which apparently involved members of the CSIS, CIA, MI5, CIRO, and the North Bay Police Department, Sean Divine, the NBPD Chief of International Relations, has named the Tim Hortons located on Cassells St. as the official lair of Dr. Doom. “It’s obviously his hideout,” surmised […]

Read More »

North Bay to open 8 more Tim Hortons

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Tim Hortons increased the price of many of their hot beverages and breakfast items today, with the average increase of 10 cents on each cup of coffee. Along with the price hike, Angela Markham, the Tim Hortons High Chancellor for North Bay, announced the construction of 8 new Tim […]

Read More »

29 tow trucks respond to person parking outside of the lines

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Maggie Tribolt had never seen anything like it. “They came in from everywhere. They were spilling in from the front, the back, and I think one might have jumped the curb and drove across the grass.” Maggie is referring to the 29 individual tow trucks which showed up to […]

Read More »

Dented pylon to run for mayor

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Perry, a dented traffic pylon which has sat on the Overpass for the last three weeks, will be running for Mayor. “I think Perry’s the perfect candidate” said a guy on Main St. “He’s bright orange and he stops people from running into things. What more do you need?” Perry, […]

Read More »

1000s of invisible people turn out for first ever “Straight Pride March”

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff On Saturday, June 22nd, thousands of invisible people gathered in North Bay for the first ever “Straight Pride March.” A loud, borderline obnoxious horde of mostly white, predominantly middle-aged people gathered together, yelling, waving flags and patting each other on the back for not being “different.” Or at least we think that’s […]

Read More »

Radioactive dump report/Sasquatch sightings

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Merrick Township — The North Bay landfill was temporarily on high alert Friday as a report of something emitting gamma radiation surfaced. Members of the North Bay Fire Department responded, but determined the emissions weren’t anything to worry about. “It’s just a small dose of gamma radiation,” firefighter Red […]

Read More »