Dented pylon to run for mayor

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Perry, a dented traffic pylon which has sat on the Overpass for the last three weeks, will be running for Mayor. “I think Perry’s the perfect candidate” said a guy on Main St. “He’s bright orange and he stops people from running into things. What more do you need?” Perry, […]

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1000s of invisible people turn out for first ever “Straight Pride March”

From: thenorthbaybay.ca staff On Saturday, June 22nd, thousands of invisible people gathered in North Bay for the first ever “Straight Pride March.” A loud, borderline obnoxious horde of mostly white, predominantly middle-aged people gathered together, yelling, waving flags and patting each other on the back for not being “different.” Or at least we think that’s […]

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Radioactive dump report/Sasquatch sightings

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Merrick Township — The North Bay landfill was temporarily on high alert Friday as a report of something emitting gamma radiation surfaced. Members of the North Bay Fire Department responded, but determined the emissions weren’t anything to worry about. “It’s just a small dose of gamma radiation,” firefighter Red […]

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Summer in the Park’s unveils a new theme!

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Despite its recent success, the Summer in the Park Committee announced today that the festival would be trying something new this year with the inclusion of 600 or more domestic rats. Larger than mice but smaller than cows, rats are furry rodents with long tails and an entire zodiac symbol. […]

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Supervillain Seagull King vows to “destroy” Shad Man

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff Recent reports of a masked “Shad Man” come as no surprise to super villain “The Seagull King,” a tall man-bird hybrid who regularly stalks the North Bay Waterfront. Speaking to thenorthbaybay.ca on Thursday, The Seagull King began the conversation by demanding a container of sand-covered fries. When provided, King […]

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City gives filmmakers license to blot out the sun

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff In a long anticipated move, City Council announced today that it would be giving Sienna Films and director Daniel Grou, the force behind the TV series “Cardinal,” a permit to blot out the sun. “I think this is going to be a good thing for North Bay,” a representative […]

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