Local rapper fighting Illuminati with children’s book

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — International rap sensation Ahawtboi, best known for his hit song “where da beauties at?” is penning a new children’s book. Ahawtboi, real name Manchew Fronter, has spent the last 14 months writing a 7 page picture book. The work, tentatively entitled “THEY’RE STEALING MY BLOOD!” is the […]

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Tourism building replaced with giant “Piss Off” sign

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Formerly located at the corner of Seymour and the bypass, the Chamber of Commerce Tourist Information Office has been demolished, and in its place is a gigantic sign that says “Piss Off.” The 1.65 acre site, which was sold last year for almost $1.7 million dollars, was […]

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Shadflies cause lock down

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Long-time North Bayites know what’s coming. As June enters its final two weeks, many locals look to the lake with growing unease. There, they know, wait hundreds of thousands of shadlies. “They get everywhere,” says City Councillor Vic Tikus. “They stick to things. They stick to […]

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O.P.P. orders fleet of paddleboats

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff MATTAWA — Following a high octane chase on Lake Talon which involved a paddleboat and a dog, the Mattawa O.P.P. announced early this morning that they would be ordering an entire fleet of police pursuit paddleboats. “I think our proud men and women deserve only the best,” began O.P.P. […]

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PCs to build new brewery in North Bay

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Following his provincial election win, Ontario PC leader Doug Ford quickly declared that he was going to make good on his “Buck a Beer” campaign pledge. “The people of Ontario were promised this,” said Ford. “And I’m going to deliver. I’ve always been true. I have never lied. […]

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Dog in pants assaults man on lawn

From: Philip St. George, thenorthbaybay.ca staff NORTH BAY — Layton Morce was enjoying a hard-earned beer on his 1st Avenue lawn Tuesday evening when he was suddenly and brutally accosted. “I had my favourite lawn chair out and was sitting in my yard,” says Morce. “Just waiting for some good-looking gir– er, just sitting. All […]

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