“O Canada” needs more men says man

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca intern

NORTH BAY – Proudly erect, Kyler Child stands next to a Canadian flag outside his home and sings. In his pocket is a smartphone from which “O Canada” is playing.

“I bought that anthem for .99 cents,” Child declares. “That’s how much Canada means to me.”

Child, who is no stranger to publicity, is upset with a recent bill aimed at making “O Canada” gender neutral. The bill changes “in all thy sons command” to “in all of us command” and only needs royal assent to become law.

“They’ve gone too far!” screams Child, stamping his feet. “We need to fix what has been done. Canada is not a country for everyone. Canada is a country for men. English ones. English men! No women and no Frenchies.”

“I say that we not only change the anthem back, but we make it even better. We men make up half the country and so we should make up half the anthem. Instead of ‘True patriot love, in all thy sons command’, we should sing ‘He patriot man, in men thy sons com-man-d.’”

Council Support

Surprisingly, Child has found support in local City Council member Tony Jericho.

“I tell you, people are upset with the government stepping all over them in ways they didn’t even know” says Jericho. “Telling him what he should be paying his workers, telling him to not enter another man’s house without permission. This new bill crosses the line. If I want to kick in the door to my neighbour’s house and sing about men that should be my right.”

Kyler Child had some final words before going back into his John St. home.

“This is not a man being politically incorrect, it’s a man fighting for his God-given right to have Canada stay a man’s country. We keep conceding things and Canada just gets worse. First it was the French, then the Irish, now women want something? What’s next? Native folk?

Child and Jericho plan to speak to their Local Member of Parliament tomorrow. More updates if the story advances.

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