Al McDonald Takes Over Mall Santa Centre, Escapes Imprisonment

From: Darren D. MacDonald, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

NORTH BAY – The Mayor of North Bay appears to have gotten himself first into the Christmas Spirit and then into some Christmas trouble.

Al McDonald, the long-time Mayor of North Bay, is wanted by Northgate Mall Security on charges of Mall Mischief, Mall Misconduct, and Mall Possession of Class 8 Lethal Weapons.

“I was taking photos with the kids on Saturday when I noticed someone skulking around the area,” says Stanley Clas, the Northgate Mall Santa. “Then I realized it was just Al. Eventually Al stopped to talk to the parents and then went on his way. I thought that would be the end of it, but then he came back. He playfully hopped in the photo area and posed in the photo. We laughed, he laughed – it was fun.”

It was after coming back from his legally mandated Santa Claus Union break that Stanley Clas discovered that The Mayor of North Bay had taken over the Photo Centre.

“I couldn’t believe it,” explains Clas. “Sure, there’s been other times people have tried to take over the Photo Centre. Like back in ‘87 when some skinheads stormed me, but I taught them a lesson.”

“It was different with Al though. He barked at me, like a dog foaming at the mouth. Then, when I tried to push my way back in, McDonald came at me with a novelty, custom made, hand crafted, locally sourced foot long candy cane rod from The Farm.”

Security Responds

Mall Security quickly responded to the commotion.

“We secured the scene and then tried to get into the Photo Centre, but the Mayor threw small candy canes at us,” says Security guard Jake Wattson. “He brought them from home, I think, and he must have been sucking on the ends for weeks because they were razor sharp.”

“We called the police but they just laughed at us. So I did what anyone would have done: I picked up a novelty, custom made, hand crafted, locally sourced foot long candy cane rod from The Farm and used it as a billy club to subdue the Mayor.”

“The upside is there was minimal causalities, but the downside is now everything smells like mint.”

Escape from the Northgate Mall Jail

Al McDonald was then held in the newly created Northgate Mall Jail, which is located at the former Escape Movement location. Ironically enough, McDonald then made a deft movement of his own and escaped from the prison. He is still at large.

“It appears he picked the locks with another one of those tiny candy canes,” reveals Wattson. “He sucked the thing into a perfect little key.”

If you see Al McDonald, be sure to stay a safe distance away, immediately inform The Northgate Mall, and use your novelty, custom made, hand crafted, locally sourced foot long candy cane rod from The Farm in self-defence if necessary.

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