Gypsy curse dooms North Bay

From: Jennifer Hanson, thenorthbaybay.ca staff

NORTH BAY — Decreasing population, business exodus, and progressively bigger potholes are all because of a powerful gypsy curse, says resident expert Maireni Leclair.

In the twisting, reptilian underbelly of Norwood Avenue lives Leclair, who invited The North Bay Bay for an interview Sunday afternoon. Meeting us at the front door of her two-story duplex, Leclair ushered the team into her basement, where the air smelled of exotic incense, the room was dimly lit, and a poorly hidden smoke machine set the mood.

“It’s no coincidence that there’s a new tarot card reader on Main St. and psychic on Lakeshore,” began Leclair, eyes wide. “As things get worse for North Bay, the people are going to need help. This city is going to be looking for answers, and those answers are going to come from… the beyond!”

Leclair wiggled her fingers for effect.

“You’re going to see people leaving North Bay. You’re going to see businesses leaving North Bay. You’re going to see overfishing, potholes, poor road conditions, a mediocre Summer in the Park, a mild summer, a long winter, and more Jay Aspin than any man can bear.”

“And it’s all because of a GYPSY CURSE!”

Somewhere nearby a small gong sounded.

“I know what you’re wondering now. ‘How do we fix this?’ ‘How do we lift the horrid curse?’ By encouraging commerce? Supporting northern development? By voting for the best political candidate and not the party you always pick?”

“No. Lean close. Closer. I’ll whisper the answer to you, and only you. But it comes with a price. Do you accept?”

“Good.”

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